Life has been feeling especially intense since the clocks changed. I haven’t been able to shake a feeling that reminds of me of the physical and mental state I would be in when I would get off of an insane amusement park ride that was a staple of every travelling carnival in the 90’s: The Zipper. It involved being locked inside of a tiny metal cage and then spun around simultaneously in multiple different directions at high speed. I would get off the ride dizzy and stumbling, and then spend some time fumbling around trying to find the shit that would inevitably spill out of my pockets or shabby purse onto the grass underneath. At that time it would have been things like: black lipstick, chap stick, pencils, and spare change.

Anyway, I was trying to psych myself up for the first day of spring which is meant to honour fertility deities like Ostara and the return of the light, but I haven’t been able to stop crying my guts out for the past 2 days. I’m still stewing in some cosmic winter colon.

I didn’t want to get sucked too deep into the void, so today I headed out and had some internet time at my favourite dive cafe and ordered a veggie burger with cheese and pickle fries. Holy heck, it was delicious. Afterwards I hit up a thrift store and the guy behind the counter recognized me from my work. Then I did a yoga class with a teacher who I run into all of the time and get into great conversations with. On the way out I went through Fan Tan alley and bought beeswax candles from a rad little store run by two first-generation punk rockers. I also stopped by at my favourite vintage store and found a wallet and a floral rayon shirt that fits me like it was tailored for me. The girl behind the counter had 1920’s makeup on and was wearing a floral dress and a baphomet necklace. We had sparse and lovely banter and then I headed down to my work to get some ice cream. When I was leaving I saw my yoga teacher’s boyfriend and chatted with him for a while, though cut it fairly short as I felt the need to be in darkness, silence and solitude.

When I walked home there was a mist of rain and the sky was as moody as I was...

I’ve been learning more and more about world politics and geopolitics since the War in Ukraine started last year. It’s a complex and confusing mess and there are so many varied opinions to be found on each individual issue, and so many layers of history to unfold in each region of the globe that’s experiencing warfare and genocide.

It seems like all of world’s power systems are corrupt and flawed and need to be dismantled. I don’t like Western Imperialism, Communism, National Socialism, Capitalism or Marxism. It’s all bullshit and it’s all responsible for the trauma and enslavement of humanity. Anarchy is the closest thing that resonates with who I am as a person, though even that could potentially be super fucked up and I have yet to see an example of it functioning in a healthy way.

I choose to be as sovereign as I can while also recognizing that my freedoms and comforts rely on the exploitation and dispossession of others. I try to buy everything as ethically as possible as I know that money is power, and if we all stopped giving our money to assholes like Elon Musk and found alternative ways of living in community with each other, then the world would be a better place. Yet I also consider that if we were all to suddenly stop buying things in the way that we are now that we would disrupt the lives of people all over the globe and it could potentially result in more death and destruction. For instance, if everyone in the West suddenly stopped buying avocados it would fuck over a lot of people and potentially cause poverty, starvation, displacement and conflict among those who rely on the income, even if they're getting paid a shit wage and being exploited. I just don’t know how we can move beyond where we are and it scares me to think about how things might play out when we really start to run out of resources globally.

Will there be a power shift away from global American hegemony? I would love that but I don’t think that China and Russia are viable alternatives. I would not want to live under either of those regimes. I want to Hail Dionysius and wear Winnie the Pooh t-shirts.

I recently learned that Canada had far more involvement in the Iraq 2 War than I knew at the time. I remember being horrified when that all of that went down, and even with my scant understanding of politics I knew that there was nothing noble about what America was doing. I initially had a lot of respect for Jean Chretien (the Canadian Prime Minister at the time) for saying no to riding America’s coat tails (as we had during the first Gulf War), but it turns out that behind the scenes Canada provided more underhanded military support than most of the countries who openly supported the invasion.

And as I learn more about the Ukraine situation I’m recognizing that it’s more complex that I first understood it to be. At the same time, Russia are still complete cunts and just as meddling and imperialistic as America, they just have less power and feel insecure about their place in the geopolitical sandbox, which I reckon is why they’re so desperate to increase their political influence by whatever means necessary. All of this geopolitical jabberwocky seems to be very childish and ridiculous, yet results in millions and millions of people dying all around the world.

After a year of following the Ukraine situation fairly closely, and even reading the propaganda on the Kremlin website, the perspective that still resonates with me the most and seems the most unbiased is that of the anarchists who are on the ground in Ukraine, Belarus and Russia. Among anarchists, some have supported the Russian side of the conflict and some have supported the Ukrainian side, so they are in a unique position. Though overall most anarchists seem to view Russia as a greater imperial threat than America, despite many having radical leftist political leanings.

Simplifying the conflict down to the Maiden uprising being a Nazi coup funded by America and Zelensky being a Western puppet belies the true complexity of what’s going on as far as I can tell. As does simplifying the conflict down to Ukraine being unified in opposition to Russia.

The amount of resources going into this war are ridiculous and it’s straining the entire globe. More and more environmental and social damage is being enacted at a time when we should be focusing on repairing ecosystems and protecting wildlife. And the human casualties on both sides are very high. It’s truly tragic and I hope it will end soon, but there seems no easy way out at this point.



The Ukrainian Revolution and the Future of Social Movements

War and Anarchists: Anti-Authoritarian Perspectives in Ukraine

Ukraine: Between Two Fires

Russia: The Anarcho-Communist Combat Organization

Russia: Mobilization and Resistance